Isolation

Isolation.  Think about it.  Isolation.  What thought comes to mind?  How does it make you feel?  How do you define isolation?  Dictionary.com defines it as "separated from other persons or things; alone; solitary."

Now, what image comes to mind when you hear the word? Is it positive?  My guess is no.  Do you envision a homeless person begging for food in the subway?  Is it a garden or plantation?  Is it someone working at a winery getting grapes?  Is it a dog or cat home alone while it's family is not home?  How about a person in the middle of a plantation harvesting fruits or vegetables?  A person living in the tundra in Alaska?  I think you need to reign in your thinking.

I am isolated.  Go back and slowly say the word.  Ice-o-lay-shun.  A middle-class woman who is the parent to 2 kitties (Tori and Bert) and 2 pups (Casey and Poly).  I am married with a whose husband is a successful Senior Systems Engineer - read computer geek.  I'm not sure you didn't picture me.  But it is true.  It is one component to depression.  It is also something which breeds depression.  My depression.  The monster has returned making my desire to eat junk food (when I actually want to eat) multiply by dozens.

What does it mean for me?  It means that I can go days without even talking with anyone other than my husband and usually my Mom.  I spend a lot of time having conversations with my computer and my dogs.  I mean a LOT of time.  When my hubby is here, I still talk to the screen.  At least he talks with the dogs as well.  When he hears me whispering to seemingly no one I have to remind him that I personify isolation and am not used to having someone home.  Conversations take place mainly on the phone.  Even those are few and far between and I usually have to initiate.

So, how does isolation look like?  For me, it means I EAT!  Now that I'm doing Weight Watchers, the not eating thing/healthy eating is very hard nearly impossible.  Why do I look like a hippopotamus?  Because I spend the day snacking.  Also, hubster and I eat in front of the television.  We all know that is a super bad idea.  We basically train ourselves by pairing TV and food.  (sorry, that's my psychology degree coming out)  It boils down to telling ourselves that we should eat when in the living room.  It's not good.  The hub and I did it when I worked, and if that wasn't bad enough, now that I'm not working I have the television on most of the time which - you guessed it - means that my brain tells my body that I'm hungry.  I feel like I have hundreds of tests and doctor appointments which all seem to lead to more appointments and more tests.  I've noticed that when I'm at an appointment I talk and I talk a lot!  Human contact.  It's vital.

Isolation + food = hippopotamus.  Isolation + Weight Watchers = hunger.  I get a little cranky when I'm hungry.  Add to it having virtually no contact with human beings during the day I want to pig out!  We are buying unsweetened applesauce in bulk.  It counts as "free" points.  Fruit and veggies are FREE (at least as Weight Watchers is concerned.  I am finding that I have a problem using all of my daily points - and I really need to do that!  I will spend them at the end of the day with junk food.  Yeah, that's not part of the plan.

Now that I've brought up WW I'll let you in... I'm down 8.2 lbs since 6/22, averaging 2 lbs each week.  Slow and steady wins the race, right?  I have to admit, it's frustrating.  I do try to look at the big picture.  I lost 26 lbs between September and February/March.  The whole loss is great (it isn't simple math because I did gain some of those 26 lbs back.  Overall, I'm down 32.4 lbs.

I was totally against counting anything help to lose weight.  Counting isn't natural.  Hubster joined WW before me and went over some of it and now that I've started I think it's a great plan.  I did WW when I was younger - a couple of times, in fact - and have always had success.  Most of the time I was on the go, so went to the meetings to get weighed and then rushed out.  That meant that the online program is just right.  It's obviously been success for me so far.  Sure it hasn't been long, but I'm headed in the right direction.

Ok, I'm off to enjoy some good diner food.  I have about half of my daily points left and about half of my weekly points, too, so I can splurge a bit.  I see french toast in my future!